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 | Bi Women |
| Bi Men |
| Straight Spouses |
| Polyamers Group |
These are above and beyond what the National Convention has decided to become involved in. We feel the need is there for these groups and are looking for participants or for support staff. If you feel the need, and would like to help, make that call or stop by our next meeting which is the 3rd Tuesday of each month.
On July 28, 1996, I celebrated my 18th wedding anniversary with
my husband "Steve". We had fun and found out that a couple of people approaching
middle age can be young, free &wild. As more people become aware of my bisexuality,
they find this anniversary puzzling. The Resounding question is: "How can you be a
bisexual and be happily married at the same time?". Well I have to tell ya, my answer
is starting to sound a little rehearsed, because it is! I’m saying it so much!
First off, these people seem to paint me (and other bi’s) as a jumble of urges that
must be met, all the time. Do people (Hetero, Homo, Bi) not have urges that they can
control, or does everybody do what they want, when they want, and to who they want to do
it to or with? If we didn’t squelch our urges, we would live in anarchy! Lets put it
this way, if I didn’t control my urges I would have ripped that gorgeous white suit
off of that woman the other day and put it on me! I know it would have looked better on
me!!! Another case in point, don’t I get to be choosy, you know look for that special
someone? Or do I have to just have sex with everybody to be a bisexual? Am I sounding a
little jaded? Maybe a chip on my shoulder? AND ANOTHER THING. . . I do believe that a
large part of bisexuality right now is focused politically. I believe we have to fight a
fight at this point. We have legislative progress to make, which will improve the quality
of life for everyone in not only our community, but the whole "people
community". You see, as we all know, tolerance breeds peace and peace breeds
prosperity! (Hey that’s pretty good! A very Profound and a positive not to end this
article if I do say so myself. . .). . . . .Talyne
POLITICALLY CORRECT OUTING - NOT!
by jon gates
There are not a lot of things that piss me off so bad that I
would want to put it to paper. I mean anyone who knows me has this very clear vision that
I am up front about my feelings on issues that do and do not pertain to myself. I just
regularly voice my opinion to hear myself blow off steam I guess.
It’s in the papers, on the radio and television, and most importantly it’s in
the magazines that gays, lesbians, bisexuals and transgenders get their information from.
Those national gay owned and operated publications that are there for “us” to
help keep us informed on issues and instances.
What am I blowing steam about? It’s the public humiliation that high profile figures
face when publications like “OUT” & “ADVOCATE” magazine and the
Log Cabin Republication Group Newsletter comes out with what seems to be their annual
“Black List” of names of Who’s Who in the Hidden Closet. Let me point some
things out. Maybe you’ll agree with me and maybe you won’t - this is AMERICA -
and these are my words on how I see the situation as it’s happening.
Correct me if I’m wrong, but isn’t a persons sexual orientation something of a
‘personal’ nature? I mean do these assholes that put this trash together also
want to know what their favorite positions are - maybe doggie style?
Correct me if I’m wrong, but aren’t there a lot of other stories that can be
told that would help the cause and fight to bring our community together in a more
positive way? Correct me if I’m wrong, these people were voted in on their merits,
first off, before the allegations of sexuality were “OUT”. They do their job and
make their votes count on whatever issues they are currently working on. Don’t you
and I make decisions on a daily basis - do you want your decisions put to press?
One comment or “word” that I am not a fan of is the term of “Politically
Correct”. I could go off on a whole new tangent on that issue. Tell me how something
can be “correct” on a system that has gone so “clusterfucked” (word of
the week). Pardon me being so blunt if it offends you, oh well, I get offended sometimes
too. Deal with it. Just as you have to deal with the fact when you vote, you are making a
decision on a person who best fits your needs, wants and expresses your personal beliefs.
But when the media dogs seem to get their teeth into innocent individuals who already have
the balls to help make changes on the political front, those innocent individuals become
victims. Their campaign funds start to dry up, their support starts to falter. All because
of assholes who think that they are god and they need to inform us of who’s doing
Debbie the Democrat (or Rep).
Tell me one instance where someone's sexual orientation makes a difference in their job.
If Danny’s doing Bill or Jane’s doing Jackie then let them do it. Are they doing
it - in front of - kids, elderly, or on the White House Oval Office Desk?
I think that it just goes to show you that these morons who are suppose to be
professionals sometimes have writers block or temporary brain damage. They really don’t
have anything better to do than to try to ruin the lives of individuals who could help
them for a future cause. If they voted against same sex marriages - and we know they are
gay - MAYBE there is a reason for that vote. Remember, their votes reflect that of the
general public.
I feel that having G/L/B individuals in offices throughout the country is definitely a
benefit for you and me. Their hard work and dedication to help make changes in the reforms
that we need first and foremost is to be commended. They are the leadership that we
elected into office. If we don’t like the ways they lead, then utilize the voting
processes available to us to make the changes necessary. Don’t hold a dark cloud over
their heads of the ‘personal’ choices they make and embarrass them to make harsh
decisions that could later affect you and me.
As we sit around our table at meetings and gatherings, we always
pose the question of what people want to get out of the meeting and the group. I find it
reassuring that people say they want support and a place to feel as though they belong. We
all need to feel like we are a part of something a little beyond ourselves. Especially
when we are dealing with an issue that is still very difficult for some people.
I find it exciting to hear people say that they are here for the social aspect. At our
coffeehouse social on Aug.27, we talked about dating within the group. It was
overwhelmingly agreed upon that not only is it okay with everyone that was present at that
gathering, it is part of the reason some are attending the group.
But, being an activist at heart, I find it encouraging and forward thinking to have people
be there for the fight, too. Whether we choose to view this as a political struggle. Any
time you are dealing with an issue involving civil or human rights, it is a political
struggle. I am aware that some of you are not interested in being involved
"politically." Let's investigate that for a moment.
Why are you in the group? To get support? Okay, let's take on this one first. Support for
what? Being a bisexual? Being accepted in society? Not having to worry about losing your
job if your boss finds out about you? Support from an extended family because your own
family cannot accept you as you are? Now here is a very important consideration. What if
bisexuality were not treated as a disease or a malady? What if you were accepted for your
virtue and integrity than for what your sexual preference is? And if this is the end goal,
i.e. a more accepting society, then how might one further that level of acceptance?
Okay, you don't need support. You are in the group strictly for social purposes, your
family loves you and accepts you and you have a boss that believes people should be
measured by their strengths and abilities not their sexual preference. That's great. But,
do you come to the group because it's hard to get a bisexual date in this particular city?
Do you think it might be easier to get a date if this weren't such a biphobic city? State?
COUNTRY?
I read this a long time ago, I can't remember who said it, and I'm sure I won't quote it
verbatim. And that's okay, neither is important to the individual who said it, but the
meaning is what's important, and it goes something like this:
When they came for the Jews, I did nothing, I am not a Jew. When they came for the Socialists, I looked the other way Then they came for the Unionists and since it did not concern me, I stood aside. Now they are coming for me, and there is no one left to stand for me.
In other words, THEY will knock on your door someday, personally I intended to be ready
for the battle, instead of being caught off guard.
The conference in San Francisco reminded me that I have been leading a quiet, but closeted
life and I choose to see the sun, not take what someone else's value system has in store
for me. I know it seems like an uphill battle, but look at which country you live in. For
all its problems and back room bullshit, it is still the most free country in the world.
the thing we have to remember is that it does not stay that way on its own. Apathy is the
pathway to dictatorship and violence is the pathway to destruction. I heard a wise woman
say, "We can't let ourselves lose because we didn't act" (or something like
that, thank you, Annie), "not knowing is one thing, but knowing and doing nothing is
wrong." Well, the fact of the matter is, we know. We all Know, and we have to do
something about biphobia and all fear bread hatred. Please understand, I am not advocating
outing yourself in an arena that you are not yet comfortable in, I am talking about
citizen action. Here are some examples of both ways to be involved, quietly or loudly:
| Write Anonymous letters to your local, city, state and national representatives informing them that you are a registered voter and you intend to vote only for those candidates that uphold the value of civil and human rights. |
| Support other human rights campaigns and ask those campaigns to support you in yours. |
| Teach peace to children, this is so very, very, very important. Children learn what they live. |
| Pick one person that you know well, and reach them. They in turn will reach someone they know. Now you have set the "Each One Reach One" relay into motion. |
| Wear "bi" clothes and buttons, if you are out. |
| Contact the Arizona Fairness coalition and ask them how you can help get the legislation passed that includes sexual preference in the anti-discrimination law. |
| Support legislation for same sex marriages. |
| Live a peaceful existence as example. |
By virtue of the issue that we are dealing with,
as fencesitters extraordinaire we have an obligation to do our part somehow. Somebody has
to do it, anybody can, and if everybody does, then nobody will be alone, unless of course
that's how they like it, heh, heh, heh.
I realize that this article is wringing with metaphors, partial quotes and clichés, but,
as a woman finding her own identity, sometimes it helps to steal a little from here and
there.
We need you. You need you to be involved, in whatever way you feel comfortable, as long as
we stick together they can’t take us out!
Let me take the opportunity before I close, to invite everyone that is not currently a
member to use your membership donation as your way of being passively involved. Your
membership dues are split with the national organization, who are OUT there on our behalf,
fighting the struggles that is eventually going to change the status quo of discrimination
in this country. The money goes for research, lobbying, direct action and communication.
These are the tools and weapons of the fight and the national group could not do it
without regional support. Logistic, vocal and monetary support. Choose your battle, don’t
let it choose you. The weapons of this war are at your disposal, it is up to you how you
wield your sword of power.
In Peace, Talyne
This years BiNet National Convention was held August 15th through
the 18th, in the beautiful city of San Francisco, California. Let it be known that the
Phoenix directive made its presence known with force, and these four will definitely be
remembered when the memory books are opened in the future.
This summary of BiNet USA Initiatives were presented at the Business Meeting:
TECHNOLOGIES RESOURCE INITIATIVE (TRI); BISEXUAL YOUTH INITIATIVE (BYI); BINET USA
FUNDRAISING INITIATIVE (BFI); and the RURAL ORGANIZING INITIATIVE (ROI). Following the
meeting was a Proclamation presented to BiNet USA by the mayor’s liaison to the
l/g/b/t community and signed and sealed by SF Mayor Willie Brown:
“Whereas, San Francisco is proud to be the location for the 1996 annual BiNet USA Business Membership Meeting; and Whereas BiPOL is the host for this national meeting which will draw participating bisexual rights activists from across the country; and Whereas, the contribution of bisexuals in developing AIDS service projects, combating discrimination, and advocating for social justice have long been undervalued or discounted by most of society; and Whereas, this is an opportunity to affirm the dignity and worth of our bisexual friends, family members, parents, children, co-workers, neighbors and partners and to dedicate ourselves to confront biphobia and homophobia in all of its forms; and Whereas, bisexuality is definitely not just a phase, as so many believe, now Therefore Be It Resolved, that I, Willie L. Brown, Jr., Mayor of the City and County of San Francisco, in recognition of BiNet USA and its historic role of networking bisexuals and their friends across the U.S. in the cause of social justice, do hereby proclaim this 17th day of August, 1996 as . . . BISEXUAL PRIDE DAY in SAN FRANCISCO.”
TRI - Our primary mission is to facilitate the use of the
Internet with BiNet USA. Objectives for 1997 and insuring access of the Internet
(primarily e-mail) to all the National Coordinators and Regional Organizers, with computer
software and hardware as needed. The creation of a BiNet USA e-mail address (BiNetUSA@aol.com), BiNet USA Web Page, and BiNet USA
e-mail distribution lists.
BYI - Our mission is to address the needs of and advocate for bisexual youth and young
adults. Due to the lack of visibility of bisexuals and young people, BYI exists to educate
and coordinate the growing numbers of self-identified bisexuals and their allies. To
create a BYI resource and organizing kit; fact sheet, a speakers training manual, and
educational materials including information on safer sex for bisexuals and on organizing a
bisexual youth group. And to organize a Youth Institute at the 1997 BiNet USA annual
business.
BFI - The purpose of the BiNet USA Initiative is to generate funding. Our goals are: To
raise at least $25,000 for BiNet USA from August 17, 1996 to August 17, 1997. To create a
team of people who are committed to, and accountable for, having and keeping BiNet USA
sufficiently funded.
ROI - Arthur Freeheart’s proposal was incorporated into an Official BiNet Initiative.
See page 14 of the Summer 1996 BiNet News (letter).
QUOTE
Talyne: “I like knowing people in many places. It makes me
feel as though I am connected to a family that transcends the boundaries of my particular
urban area. Meeting the people I have at the National membership meeting in San Francisco
was instrumental in helping me achieve a bond I’ve not felt many times in my life. We
are a family that spreads from Florida to Seattle and San Diego to Vermont.
I love maps, so I’m getting out the map pins and putting them in the places that
represent our Bi-family. In this newsletter is a list of addresses of the BiNet Family
nationwide. Mark your own maps and write them a letter.”
Stay tuned and check back often. Good things are being planned even as you're reading this!
